So it's over.

You know, it doesn't even bother me. Tomorrow is my last day at work, but tbh I don't care. Wasn't I lucky enough? Never mind.

I am going to the gym on Monday, after 2 weeks of illness, I am starting my diet. This time I will work hard on it, push my self and just do it. Because every time I ask my self what is really stopping me from it, the answer is laziness and chocolate. I guess those thing doesn't have that much power to have any influence on my life. So this time, I will do, alone, I will fight and win.

Another day; the same story

What I tend to do a lot is day dreaming. But I guess it's even more than that. I have a totally different reality in my head, and that for me it's more real than anything around.

We I am travelling in the tube, thinking about other made up story tears are coming down my face. I ain't going to lie, its scary. I'm lost, I didn't get what I planned, I'm not where i believe i should be now, and my dream world is the best actual no existent thing in my life.

Am I crazy?

So moving out of the town I lived seem at bit crazy due to the fact I don't really have plenty of money in my savings.. But what came up to my head today is just freaking me out. 

Well I thought what if for one year I will travel, 3 months for each country, four countries in the year. Add to that, I will not live for the money I got, I will have to get a job and live from the money earned... Less standard. The idea is spinning around my head, but it feels like this is the thing that I want to do and experience. 

That would be the most ever crazy thing in my whole life, but if I want to experience the world, and feel like I'm living not only existing - that would be something to do.

Will make a little research tonight, and maybe I will start planning.

Constant fight

You know guys..I spoke to few people in the last couple of day. Older smarted, that have lived life way longer than me, I know how to listen as well as I know how to ask..
All they all tell me runs around 'you need to happy' to 'at your age you should not stress'. 


Now its just stuck in my head, maybe I took to much on my shoulders? Maybe once again I do think to much? What if the life is really simple and I just make it more complicated for my self?


I realised one thing ; the moment I started following and running after money was the moment when my life finished. That was the key moment to getting frustrated and stressed. Sometimes less is better as you get to appreciate it more, while if you have a lot you always seek more.

Every story has the end.

Hi.. that's a bit awkward writing any thing here.
I just deleted my Facebook, blocked my Instagram and gave up on snapchat, literally I can say I just gave up on my social life. 

On all of those I had many people that were watching, commenting; the funny feeling that you are not alone in the cyber world. But I just had enough, enough of uploading pictures and pretending I am so happy in life, enough of being judged after anything I post. I got to the point in life where I just don't know which direction I should take. I began to be afraid about anything. 

Which direction should I go? I have no idea. But one thing I know - there needs to be a place where I can write it all off my chest. 

There might be a 1 person that will even read this, but it doesn't matter. Because all I just did is run away from the crowd. I'm looking for peace and understanding, and maybe the only way is to find that out my self. 

Just smile. We are still alive, and the fight is not finished yet.